How it would Happen if I had Created It
by Melundomeiel
Summary: Basically a more humorous version of what happens on mount Gagazet between Tidus & company and Seymour. I'll add more if you want me to. R&R please.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters, places etc… etc… from Final Fantasy X or any other Final Fantasy game. I'm sure you are staring slack jawed at your computer screen in disbelief…

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**How it would Happen if I had Created Final Fantasy X**

(I suck at titles)

Tidus and Rikku were standing on one of the last cliffs they would have to trudge along on Mount Gagazet, and were pondering how they would prevent Yuna from getting killed by sin. It was cold, since they were high up and standing in snow, the sky was overcast and the occasional snowflake would find its way to the ground before bitter winds could blow it away.

"Well we'll figure something out later," Tidus told Rikku confidently.

Rikku cocked an eyebrow, "Wha?" she half said.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tidus asked frowning at Rikku's behavior.

"I'm not looking at you, you stupid prat! Seymour just appeared out of nowhere!"

Tidus turned around to see everybody's favourite blue-haired, crazy villain, Seymour.

"So you are the son of Jecht," Seymour stated rather than asked.

"Yep, you bet," Tidus replied as if enemies randomly popped up all of the time, which they did.

Seymour looked a bit confused, "Um…" he said uncertainly. He was confused as to why Tidus wasn't surprised.

Tidus turned to Rikku, "Hey Rikku, go tell Auron that we have to kick Seymour's ass again," he said as if it was a daily chore.

"All right I'll be back in a couple of clicks!" She replied cheerfully.

Tidus frowned, "Clicks? Isn't it ticks?"

Rikku frowned back, "What are you talking about? It isn't anything, I came up with it just now!" she replied annoyed.

Tidus stopped frowning, "Fine whatever, just go tell Auron…"

So Rikku ran off to go tell Auron and everyone else.

"So… You want us to kick your ass again huh?" Tidus asked.

Seymour gave him a crude smile, "Ha! You think you can defeat me? I'm more powerful than-," that's when Tidus realized whatever Seymour was going to say, would be boring.

In other words… He completely stopped paying attention to what was happening around him. Instead Tidus kept himself busy by thinking about how he could shut Seymour up.

"Hmmm…" Tidus thought, "Maybe if I threw my sword at Seymour's mouth, got Wakka to throw his blitzball there too, and got Yuna to summon Valefore so we could use the aeon's overdrive… We could make him shut the hell up…"

He continued to contemplate this until he finally noticed the silence, and all the people who were looking at him expectantly.

Tidus gave them a worried look, "What? Have I grown an extra head or something?"

Yuna shook her head, "No, but Seymour was talking to us and I believe he just insulted you."

Tidus laughed, "So? At least I don't have blue hair!"

"Haven't any of you listened? I didn't insult him! I've been talking about his father, destroying Spira, and the people I killed to get up the mountain!" Seymour exclaimed annoyed that they weren't cowering in fear.

Yuna spoke again, "Really? I guess I wasn't paying attention…"

"Haven't any of you listened?" Seymour asked again.

"You were talking?" Rikku asked innocently.

"No," Auron replied bluntly.

"What? Kimahri not hear," said Kimahri seemingly coming out of a trance.

"I prefer ignoring you," Lulu stated.

"I think about blitzball whenever you talk ya," Wakka offered.

"Can we just fight?" Tidus asked getting bored with the conversation, "I mean all we do is wait five hours for you to shut up and then we fight you..."

"It would be easier if you didn't talk," Auron added.

Seymour was getting more irritated with them, "It adds grandeur and drama to the moment!" he exclaimed.

"Bull!" Tidus yelled with a grin.

"It does!" Seymour yelled back pathetically.

"By putting us to sleep?" Lulu asked with a calm smile.

Seymour was really not liking losing his mind, I mean, control over the conversation.

"All of you incompetent fools can shut up! I'm smarter than all of you!" he yelled desperately.

They all instantaneously burst into laughter, after all, Seymour was the one who wanted to become the next sin and destroy Spira.

Tidus struggled against the laughter to speak, "Oh ya sure Seymour… You are _so_ much smarter…" he said sarcastically, then gave into the suppressed laughter.

"Ah yes, that's why we've beaten you before, because of you brilliant intellect," Yuna giggled.

Seymour was finally losing his mind, I mean, temper.

"You are all making me very angry!"

They continued to laugh having a jolly good time.

"You wouldn't like me when I'm angry…" Seymour continued darkly.

"We don't like you when you're not angry! What's the difference ya?" Wakka asked.

They all broke out into new fits of guffawing and giggles.

Seymour was glaring angrily at them, "That's it! Prepare for… THE HOUSE OF PAIN!" he boomed.

All of them had to look up to see what Seymour was doing because they had been rolling around in the snow laughing.

Seymour had transformed into… Into something different, that can be described as ugly, unnatural, and weird. Or you could describe it as looking an awful lot like one of those transformer toys.

Tidus frowned at the thing that was hovering on the edge of the cliff, "What the hell is that?" he yelled.

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**Disclaimer:** The transformers toys are not owned by me, they are owned by some toy company. 

The word "Instantaneously" is fun to use haha...


	2. Tidus You Dense insert insult here!

**Disclaimer:** Once again I must tell you that I do not own the places, characters, long cut scenes etc… etc… from Final Fantasy X.

I've decided to make another chapter because some people seemed to have enjoyed it. This chapter takes place after Tidus and company have defeated Lady Yunalesca (sort of).

I believe I will use some of the suggestions people have given me in later chapters.

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**Tidus You Dense (insert insult here)!**

They had just defeated Lady Yunalesca, they being Tidus, Auron, Yuna, Lulu, Wakka, Kimahri and Rikku. It had been a long fierce battle, mostly because Yunalesca had to keep turning into the giant demon of doom one step at a time.

The scene was somewhat like this…

"Well that was pretty easy," said Tidus after they had defeated Yunalesca (or so they thought).

"I have to agree with you," said Yuna smiling.

"Too easy," said Auron, he had a suspicion that it wasn't over yet.

All of a sudden the supposedly defeated Yunalesca rose out of the ground to reveal what appeared to be an uglier side of her.

"Oh damnit," said Tidus and the battle continued.

Eventually they had defeated that part of her.

"Well I'm glad that's done," said Tidus relieved.

"You shouldn't say that," said Rikku, "you're going to jinx us."

"No I'm not," said Tidus, "there's no way that she survived that beating!"

Then Yunalesca rose even further out of the ground to unveil the part of her I like to call 'Medusa'.

"Aw hell!" said Tidus irritably.

And so they toiled on and then smote her.

"I swear if we have to keep fighting this thing…" Tidus mumbled, whilst Yunalesca was giving her dying speech.

"You will all suffer the horrible consequences for what you have done!" Yunalesca wailed as she was fading away.

"Ya, okay mother," said Rikku rolling her eyes.

And that was how the battle basically happened.

Right now they were all walking out of the floating room and making their way out of the ruins of the Zanarkand blitzball stadium. Tidus was the last one to walk out because he was worried that Yunalesca would come back again. Auron was waiting for him outside of the room.

"Wait Tidus," said Auron, "I need to talk to you for a minute."

"Okay, what's up," said Tidus not realizing it was going to be a serious conversation.

"I need to tell you something," said Auron trying to impose on Tidus it was going to be serious.

"Go ahead, tell away," said Tidus still not getting it.

"I'm not really alive," said Auron directly.

Tidus laughed, "Yes you are old man, you're still walking and talking and eating!"

"Stupid... Dense…" Auron grumbled frustrated, then tried to explain. "Lady Yunalesca killed me, but I stayed around because I promised your father I would watch over you."

"I think you're one blitzball short of a… a blitzball team," said Tidus trying to say he thought Auron had lost it.

"No I am actually dead, like Seymour."

"Seymour isn't dead either. Jeez you need to start taking pills or something…"

Auron slapped his hand to his face, "Oh for the love of…"

"COME ON YOU GUYS!" yelled Rikku, "We've been waiting for you two for like ten minutes!"

"Oh screw it," said Auron to himself, "he can figure everything out for himself…"

So they left the stadium.

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I don't think this chapter was written that well, but I tried. 

Review please, it makes me happy.


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